With Love.

Dear mama,
Though i wished i had said all these things when you were there , i could not then , not knowing what was life all about..But today when so much has passed and i really feel like an old ancient person inside me..i some how remember how you were always there when i was much younger ..Today on mom's b'day when it slipped my mind like all years and especially now when my mind seems always preoccupied with sluggish froth from past ..I really cursed myself for not wishing it first though i knew ..it would be her last b'day with me in home still .. my immediate thoughts went to how you would send for every occasions cards.. without missing ..you are missed again here ..
Though my missing you is on selfish grounds , I wish you were there like you always were when i was in serious trouble..
Like the time when i was 11 class and a flower pot has bursted very near to hand creating a multi layered gash ..and i cried my heart out ..You could not see me crying like that and used some mantra so that the pain would be transferred to you ..i stopped crying and you became silent and said 'it'z burnign allright ..
Like the time when i was sitting silently knowing i would definitely flunk the exam next day ..u called from one of you r travels some where from north India and said ' I will see what i can do..' .......I passed in that with 31 marks .. !!
Like the way you always said i was a special person no matter what..
It was enough to have you around to feel that strength ..
Today when life is such a mess that i just cannot turn my head back and breath coolly i wish you were there to guide me ..
I hope you have found your abode which you were looking in your next life ..very near to God and living life again!
Remembering you forever ,
KB.