Weather update : The day started with ..actually did not notice except that it was so cold it became difficult to get out of bed ! So went to this yoga class flat 15 mts late and by the time i came the front hall was beaming with sun light! tried to feel the sun and opened the window to be stuck by a blast of chilly cold air and bam! closed the window . The Sun has no gutso here and is just for show! No heat at all!!

It was a whimpering kind of day with me kind of drowsy and after the pouring discussion with M felt better , but still not quite settled . Hmmm ..life and its situations !!

Hd and his manager pulled the couch from their house to ours and it was a sweaty affair for them . The empty living room has some thing to sit on now . More stuff will come and the house is going to get 'house-full' .

People have such hard time here , throwing stuff because they cannot carry things back nor can they leave them .Weight and other issues .So the managers wife gave me this tote bag of what looks like leather ( i doubt ) and 4 plastic plates .She is kind of forcing me to take some more stuff but the cash issues are pressing right now . So i am giving her half answers right now !! Guess I will take them , because it seems she will throw in trash if no one takes them !!What a waste !!

Weather : It started as a chilly day , the kind of chill you see in Shimla and in North India when the winter is about to set . To speak frankly the fright that people are creating on the weather to come is getting on my nerves with comments like ' The snow is going to stick to the road , you cant see the sun for 3 months straight , its going to get dark at evening 4 : 30 ' ..ughh it 's already racking my nerves and I want to run away . Lets see how much it will rack and crack me !!

Cons and Pros of present company :-

The company of these girls from villages is really getting on my nerves , ( sorry to say but my nerves are a bit delicate ! ) and i am looking for a bit polish company . The thing is they are totally crude to say in the least and what really bugged me today was they were totally junior to me , I mean kind of 4-5 years in age , these things bug me though not directly but somehow when i hear their chatter and keep nodding my head or say 'yeah yeah'.. I am lost ! But this is the best i can make of them and it is funny to find myself in such company . To credit them on the best front , they have been of immense help to me what with the groceries and all that stuff . Three cheers to them !! The toughest part of the day is spent with them either in going out or just talking .

The yoga part went well today and it was fun to teach actually to the neighborer , though i felt that it could have been better from my part , she was quite good and did almost everything well and had a good bend of the body .So far so good , it took one hour in the morning and may be it will help induce some discipline in waking up part for me .The funny part was when we were doing 'Au---uuuum' in the end , her 10 month old son joined us and bellowed 'ooooooooooo' .She is 25 years and is having 10 month old son has the complain of exhaustion and tiredness and some joint pain . Is it the con of marrying early??!!

Who supports Who ?
As a girl before marriage I was often under the impression that major problems are taken care by the men , like some major things say money and things basically which i cannot deal with .But as i am to understand , it is not so . Like for suppose Hd and I have a major problem between us and the menton of it can send me into hours of thinking and a perennial sulky mood for the day . Hd is equally pensive about the issue , but as a woman i tend to think that he will 'deal' with it . But as i am to understand it is not so and they look to us for clearing their fears and boosting them to come out of it . Am i clear in what am i saying ? They are just likeus and then in what way are they stronger ? Physically , yes . So finally what am i to say is the concept or illusion under which we were is wrong and well ...damn it!

As a matter of fact , I am trying to induce one more concept of Video of the day when ever i come across some thing remarkable , so this is for all of you . Its a beautiful video about a doctor as you will understand who had the capacity to understand the functioning of her brain and tell it in detail . Kudos to her and also the re-iteration of the fact and the principles of Meditation and Yoga as taught by our ancient rishis which is the similar technique or description she has told . So try to get the under current of the whole thing .

Sorry uploading the video is not working .;)

Weather update : Woke up on the festival day at 8 thinking that it was 6 30 ( the usual me ) , it was so dim with almost no light . So as you might have understood the dim light meant low temperature also and it continued to be chilly the whole day and windy . Hubby did not come to lunch as it got too chilly at that time and I went to throw the thrash wearing the over coat !!!!!!!

It was the usual things of the mundane day with the punishment of washing dishes too , the result of yesterdays procrastination . The day went by without for the first time the fever of a festival or any sign on that note and when i spoke to amma it was a bit sad to note that the festival she would have done with fasting for 3/4 of the day , she did not even do any sweet now . So life moves by with or without people and you need to wake up the next morning , eat sleep and yes wash dishes !

In the afternoon i met another lady from the neighborhood and it was so funny to meet another lady form the village back ground .The US is filled with namunas really and she had two children who spoke in the most dirty way and the little boy actually said ' dayyam ninnu champesta ' to his sister. To hear such bad language from children was unacceptable for me and i felt like i am in a continuation of yesterdays party . I cannot write more abt them but it was such peace when they left .

I am to teach Yoga from tomorrow to the neighborer and lets see how it will work!!Ciao!!!

From today i have decided to give an update on the weather of the place we stay till i stay here even though i don t have anything to write in specific !

So it started with a bright morning and a clear sky till 11 o clock . Got cloudy after 11 and suddenly it started to chill with a dip in the air . By evening it started to drizzle and got quite cold . By late evening it was very chilly , windy and raining with Hubby saying 'Yo Hooo' the Minnesota winters have started ! This is just the beginning babe !!! and laughed looking at my 'lost puppy' face .

The much awaited party was a ruin . To begin with it started with me getting that stupid feeling that I should not have participated in this thing . That feeling just hung like that. It just did not go.

The flopped things of the day :-

1. The cooking part was not that difficult but the fact that rice was cooked in the Microwave just made things turn bad .The rice got stiff without any of its mushy feeling and it was like a taste less hard thing . Salt was also less and it just did not give a yummy look from the beginning .It was dry like hotel food and just bland .Some thing was missing in it : salt,oil,and peas.Damn!!

2.Then there was this mild tension about the water over flowing from the bath room , it did not exactly overflow but scared a little bit when the water did not go and raised in the tub. The maintenance was called and it got solved but the whole alley of the apartments smelled really bad till they came and cleared the mess , it was more for the neighbors .

3 . So finally we set on and were welcomed by the host and hostess and i got the feeling ' ok we have come , lets eat and then go ! Yup ! No i don't want to talk about anything . It was funny how the cheerful mood and the green patchy walk we had across the lawn and park just got damped as soon as i entered the house . It was very beautiful and done pretty well . But some people just dont have the charisma , love , genuine ness inside them . Had it been a party at my home any one would have got a better reception . But this was like ' You see we have been staying here for long and we know how to live and live well' That kind of message that was coming from that side .It just felt weird . So our 'vegetarian' dishes are given a step-sister treatment and are kept in a side table . Ok Fine with me , it is as usual in mixed parties . Then we are joined by two other families , whom they knew well and live nearby . They all looked very beautiful and pretty , though i should say that their beauty only stopped with their looks . It was awful when they started to talk . For one thing they all belonged to rural Telangana and even though had polished skins and beautiful skin , the language was just unbearable . One hour was enough for me to feel like yelling and wanting to go away . Once they knew that i had come on L2 visa , they started to look down their noses and show some attitude . It was unbearable and i just sat there hardly opening my mouth .

We spoke the same language , were from the same country but there was 0% common between us and i just smiled at the thought of how different we were . Money , status , prejudice most of the Indians have it int heir blood , sorry for generalizing that but that is the matter with us .

The worst part hubby told was the host and his friends the other three men had wine ( Australian one ) Man how they were bragging about their PR status ! ! told him that it was herbal drink ! and not for vegetarians !! and other lady at my side was cracking how she wanted to mix the veg and non-veg dishes so that we can get used to being non-veg. The gall of the woman!! She would have got a sound lecture from me but it just escaped with an 'aaaah' from me ! :-)

The nice things :

After our exit form there we gulped the cold fresh air outside and ran to home happy to be out and free form them . It was relieving to be home and then our African-american friend came by. His company was so soothing that i had to smile again at the dissimilarities of color, race and the comfort zone we had with him .Hubby almost said , it was nice to have him home !

Nice things : -

1. We went to Pool and it was nice to see Hd playing like a hero on the pool table. Really , all his hero-isms were right there and he won every game in 5 shots . He became suddenly this lively guy who needed nothing except his cue and ball . He won all shots and even the whites there were impressed with his game .

2.So this hero taught me some basic things to the girl who was wondering whether her thick gold chain and gold earrings ( from morning ) were so out of place to the sudden change of surroundings . Man he had good technique of the game and I understood the difference between his technique and others . Fun learning!!

3 . From there we three went to check the movies to find that there was none which matches our criteria and we just ran back to the car in the cold wind.

4. From then on we went to eat ice-cream , could eat half of it , packed the rest and came back home .

So far so good and for all those wondering what happened to yesterday 's drama , there has been no sequel for it. In the morning I saw the kids doing their usual business around the house . Kali peeli pareshani!!

..well i am not over yet since i am in a fright ..

now the neighboring family is a mexican ( so i think ) and there is this white man with the big tattoo on his shoulder and and his decent wife with two obese boys and a small girl and they have this small mongoose like thing which is their pet . I know this because it some times slips into our portico and i have seen the kids play with it .

...and today we can hear these big shouting and banging on the walls from their side and i am in a fright with fear overflowing from all my sides .Hd is smiling at me but i cant take his jest in this and if some thing else happens ..? What if ..?? So many bad questions ? ..I heard the word 'fuck' like 30 times now and the man has gone mad and is i think hitting the lady . A case of domestic violence .

...what if ? what if ..?

See you tomorrow if nothing happens at night !

..It is possible that two people can sit in a room and not talk any thing with each other for more than two hours ! Yes it is , we can do it !!

Was having dinner with hubby yesterday and suddenly hd blurted that 'If i was unmarried , then the guys here would give me dowry ( telugu lo eduru-katnam) and marry me " . Even though the days of my platform i worked on are over , it felt so sweet to be told like that , that I was still worth a million dollars worth !! Gosh , it felt nice even though just a passing conversation .

..sometimes i just sit in the hall and i imagine as if i am having a conversation with nanna like for example , I made tamarind rice to day and did not know what else to make with that , i mean Curry . And i made sorakayi koora with it , and if dad had been there then may be he would say like ' evaraina pandaga roju , pulihara tho sorakaya koora chestara, 'adi ratre chestaru' '

..dabba pe dabba!! ( that was his way of bearing my foolish ness )

and some times when i am just lazying around in the home he might have said ' evamma emi pani leda , baga tini padukuntunnava' lechi running cheyi '.come on get up!!

..you get the flow ? It is that kind of conversation where i can imagine what he would say for any thing !! So that is what runs in the second track these days !

I some times think that may be his restlessness for every thing like what i did , what did not happen correctly was what he felt was enough for life time , I mean if he would have been alive then he would have been more distressed about mahesh's unsettlement or my joblessness or anything to that point!! he was very rarely at peace with everything you see ! some thing had to cook inside him always , but all that kind of changed at the end and he quite liked Hd and was talking with him continuously with him through out the journey . He does that rarely with any one and of course that was the last long conversation he had with any one . I miss his liveliness when i go home and when i am not at home , as he had this habit of calling every one hour , just to find out what i was doing and scolding me if i slept at day time !! Suddenly it is as if I am living alone , though i can get home sick if i don't talk with Amma for 2 days but still it is as if there is no one at home .

Thats for today!

..I can see now that the days will pass with difficulty as the weather is becoming more and more dull , cloudy and rainy . It 's almost raining from morning now , not the heavy rain but the grey rain which wets the road but does not pour .

..Got the Vonage connection and may be i can call home more now , though skype was equally good in talking with Family but friends ( sorry friend ) i need this since she is very busy and cannot come online .( !!!!!!!!!#!#!@#!#!$)

..so we are still in the crux of thinking whether we should take the furniture or not and all this dollar counting is getting on the nerves ... mean i am just not understanding where to put a stop to the buying since you see the empty flat is slowly beginning to bug us and we want some basic things .Coming here the whole focus of the existence has shifted to cooking , cleaning and sleeping . But it is a surprise for me that i have survived this long on this menu without throwing up as yet.

..when ever i go out it would be to buy some thing to eat or plan to cook some thing etc., you see including the entertainment of the week would be to go to the Tuesday market to get vegetables . Then i go with the neighboring ladies again to some super market to buy some thing to eat and then there is the trip to the Indian stores which happens some times in between .So you see how am i revolving around food .

The day begins with the morning things getting done first and i have started to re-learn yoga by seeing a CD . So far so good it has just been two days and it is kind of going OK . Then the bath and all the next immediate things after that . Then comes the cooking part and i am left with the fridge which has never been so full with veggies . I hope not to rot them !..Hd comes for lunch similar to how he came at Chennai , Gosh! there are so similarities between Chennai and US , it is kind of prepared to be at home and stare around the house .

OK OK let me write some nice things which would be the last week end when we have actually resigned to fight over the lap top and sit at home , Kalyan's friend an African -American came over to take us out . God bless him ! We went to Renaissance Festival which was like those days when the Whites dressed like there are in the 'Gone with the Wind' period and roam around.There were little plays and shows which were full of adult comedy and some for the kids like 'riding a pony' , feeding sheep and such kind. Then there are these pottery , finery and shops with dresses for rent . It was fun on the whole and probably the first chance to see so many whites with families . Minneapolis is a kind of place where families have 3-4 children minimum and the mind set is kind of still like being in a 'town' .So you can see so many children and with their skin and blue eyes they look really cute. But the other hand the sun here stays only for 6 months in an year and they have so many allergies on their skin . Women and men have black dots and patches which they cover with their make up . if you look more closely at the old ladies skin then it feels like a wrinkled tissue paper .

The young which i had seen have this bold attitude and walk with upright shoulders and have a kind of jump in their walk when they wear sneakers shoes , its almost like HBO movie from what i understand but one can almost feel that they have a very proud attitude .

..the funny thing on that day was this black friend of Kalyan who was completely smitten by the 'pretty' Indian wife of his freind and went to the point of asking ' Do you have a sister 'Kamly' ? much to Hd 's irritation . HA HA kind of felt refreshing after being in the 'married' feeling for so long .

The looking glass

..i was watching the TV9 channel online and was frightened to see all people wearing masks and moving around .Wanted to call and tell home to be careful but then i realized that i was just acting like those people who see some thing on TV and come to conclusions , like India is like this , that etc., I am badly waiting for the phone to come by and looks like it might take another week . Its like this you see , you come to an empty flat and have only the carpet to sleep on to and then you want some mattress to come back , and then you want the Internet to come and then you want a bed to sleep on to and then you want a TV to watch , and then you want a dish TV ..the list goes on ..so ultimately what you want is a complete home and all basic luxuries .

But life is US has now come to the point of bankruptcy..and so need to take things slowly!!

back to blogging thing !

..writing anonymously takes away the thrill form writing gradually and you can almost shut down the blog ..so here it is, the Ms sunshine thing and i am not sure till when will the sunny days will be ..

..so it is this lazy Saturday afternoon and hubby dear is doing his favourite thing 'zzzzzz...' and i as usual cant blink my eye in the afternoon when i am in 'this' kind of mood ..don't know what exactly 'this ' is ! When ever i post some thing i am not sure now whether i should write it for the Dr.jekyll or Ms . Hyde , a relatively new confusion for me! ..

...I am afraid to make any noise since Hd is having his really one of those peaceful sleep and i am typing away ! Did a really disastrous meal today with almost no spice and i am wondering why simple meal can turn so bad , its actually a normal Saturday menu which i made a zillion times till now , many times even to my brother and he loved my aloo curry and tomato rasam so much !!

...today being dassera , the pooja part went well and Hubby actually washed the dishes for me ! He woke up in this dazed fashion with me and said , don't worry , I will wash the dishes and i am like 'which side to see and thank the stars ? I am lucky today and hurriedly went to the bath room before he changes his mind or some thing and by the time i finish he is done with 3/4 of the stuff . I make a delicious coffee and offer him but he is too involved and nods a NO and i take the vessel which he has washed just now , make some coffee and keep back in the sink and he is like 'How many times am i supposed to wash the vessel ..mumble mumble ..and pat comes my reply 'THAT is what I do daily"!! LOL

..so I go into pooja and he is his usual self ''i call it his 'hidden pooja' , goes inside the room and shuts the door !! Don't have a clue what he does inside and when i ask him he says he is done !! Man that happens quite fast and that is when i miss 'my' home when nanna used to do his daily pooja and the whole house would smell of the Agnihotram..Will those days ever come back!!!
Time and people are just there to change continuously .

There was a time when mama would look after and manage a whole temple by himself , denying himself the credit of anything . He left at the turn of the century and a big flavour kind of thing started to miss strongly from hence forth . Then after 9 years nanna goes off and home is no longer home . You keep searching for that some thing and its just not there .

..so so and so before the excitement of the new place wears off and i am to drool about the ughs and aahs of this let me write some thing nice and refreshing in this blog !!

..yes dears , ladies and gentleman ( only one ) I am in a new place and list of hurried things led us to minneapolis with hd and 4 huge suitcases , The journey to US , how will I ever forget it , except for the Amsterdam airport the whole thing was disastrous ...started at home in chennai to get stuck at vadapalani traffic jam and the cab driver coming almost 40 mts late ..i really saw tears in Hd's eyes and his face expression was really pitiable ..i was my usual chatty self and some how it did not bother me though i should say the whole thing of packing and moving got on my nerves till the end , well any way we boarded the next flight and it was just part -1 breaking nerves thing ..the next part was when we boarded the plane in Mumbai with almost running towards the immigration desk .. so many checking and rechecking that at the end , i felt like a criminal trying to get into some other country without permissions .. Finally got to Amsterdam after an 8 hour journey and slept like a solid rock in the flight . ..

The first time you set your foot out of India leaves kind of aweeed , it started when the plane started to land in Amsterdam ..the neatly packed rows of houses , the farms with exact dimensions and i could almost count the sheep in some ones farm ( joking ) , the neatness and exact boundaries of the whole place form top gives you an idea about what to expect when you get down..the airport at amsterdam was beautiful Me and Hd had spent some thing like 50$ there buying the knick -knacks and all ..i was like this spoilt girl running amuck on so nicee things , that i bullied hd to spend some ..;) ..so from there we boarded the flight to Minneapolis airport to find myself suddenly among super silent white people and a nervous hd as he had 'accidentally' teared the print-out of the ticket and we got sound advice from the flight staff to 'preserve' the ticket till the end of the journey ..getting a piece of cheesy advice from some ones mouth and i was mmaad at Hd for doing that but had to swallow it hard before i burst up..'gosh the nervous ness of Hd , it really got on my nerves ..may be because it was so important to him and not me ..may be ..but the whole thing was just picnic for me ..just pure picnic of some thing nice to see and a not a serious thought at all ... and there ended the flight story with another immigration check and a big good bye to high nosed 'Delta' flight staff , take my word they are the most inadept - unservicabe( if there is a word like that ) set of old waitress who cannot handle any thing than a glass of water and one needs to think twice before asking anything to them ....

So we landed in Minneapolis with only three of our luggage coming and the last one coming the next day to the hotel ...

America and Super 8 :- We took a room in a motel called Super 8 and checked in around 5 in the evening .. the first impressions of the place is to be a object of 'stare' when an American white woman stared at my thick gold chain and bindi with a amused and raised eye-brow for a few mts and asking me politely if I was in the line ..and the next thing is taking some big car ( no clue about cars and models ) sorry ! to find the roads so silent that i felt like shouting myself to create some noise and the super smooth drive to a motel called Super -8. Dumped our suit cases and asked a friend to all home and tell that we reached safely there ...We literally passed out after one hour and woke up some where at 3 in the morning , wildly hungry and awake ..to wait for the break fast room to open at 6 .

America and Food : Food in America for a first timer like me is 'IMPOSSIBLE' a single word and what ever i ate in the first few days was just out of hunger than any thing else . The hunger almost tempted me to eat eggs , though i did not eat since they seemed the only palatable item in the hotel. Everything i touched was covered with unknown variety of cheeses.. and in the hunger i mostly ate toasted bread for survival .If you are a vegetarian then the things you eat will be very limited .

America and Climate : The climate in Minneapolis right now in fall and is very pleasing,hot and coming from a hot climate like Chennai i find it very pleasant and the place is full of greenery like any place where people are sparse . In their language the climate is sunny reaching upto mid 70F with occasional winds and a pleasant evening , their way of expression of the climate . Its summer for them here and people are quite happy right now .

America and Silence : America is super silent and pleasant in the initial days . What you feel later on is a complete different story , we wil deal with it later . But the whole system is super silent and if you don't have some thing like TV and car then you like marooned in an lonely island with almost no shore at sight .

America and cars : The only thing i guess an average American can talk about is i guess cars . Since that is the the basis of connection with anything since no place is in walk able distance nor there is any other mode of comfortabe transport here . Cars which drive at such speeds that the air gives a'wrooooom' sound and i can hear it from my window some quarter mile away .

America and 'house -wife' : For the first few months it is living hell for any house wife in US simply because you cant go anywhere without a hubby since every thing is linked to SSN numbers and credit cards etc., which you don't see any sign of seeing in the future anywhere . It takes long time for some things to happen here .

America and furniture : - All indians who come here initially take the second hand furniture for a less price from people who are either going away from here or are selling them . Most of it is very used and looks kind of old ..hmmm ..boooo..i miss our furniture brought from 'khoon-paseena' of my salaries .

America and walking : Its beautiful to walk here and yesterday we had a great experience walking with huge bags and being the object of amusement for every one since 'we' just went to get some milk and curd and brought some very cheap clearance things from there .4 beautiful microwavable sets of plates and saucers for 6 $ the cheapest price in America.
..here 'we' stands for three ladies (indian) wearing thick gold chains and 'mattelu' for feet , walking and laughing as if we were going to shopping to monda to get vegetables.

America and Amma : Mom comes on skype these days sees me in the video watches me for 10 mts and is quite happy with it . She says she is seeing me often from US than in Chennai , true quite true and she gets most worried if my hair is oily or out of place and always ends with ' Be happy bhavani be happy'!!

..and so end the nice things that i wanted to write about my 'Ameeerica ' trip.Ugh! So difficult to write nice things and think 'politely'.