Last day of July

Last day of July is always calm...When it was January you thought as of August was looong after some time ..and the coming of it would be like eternity..

Now as the last moments of July wither away you cannot but think that time has been running quite fast indeed ..it was like yesterday on the night of December you had a cock tail and said cheers to the coming time..now the time is passing..and it looks like things are going to be more tough than before..

When you have a question in mind for which there seems to be no answer ..and as you see life through all ups and downs..you can only sing..

"Hazaron khwahishein Aisi Ki har khwahish Pe Dum nikale"

And on the lighter note to the past six months ..

"You thought you have beaten me..but just look at where you are now.."

Aunty Math Kaho naa..

From monday to friday you wear chudidaars, jeans , kurtis...all stuff but keeping looking at people wearing sarees at work admiring if they look good.....

And one saturday you decide to wear to family get together..actually this idea comes from not able to decide which chudidaar to wear..

you know people would be surprised to see you in a casual saree ..but you are not actually ready for it....

Plethora of comments :
Mom's Sis : Ohh..she looks like Rani..to be sure..
Sarcastic uncle : Oh...Did she wrap the saree or did she Tie saree..>???But all the same he is getting reminded of his sis when young ..my mom being his one time favourite..
Younger Mama : Its like Rani coming in the younger version..
Akka : Giving gyan on the nuances of tieing the saree..
The steps should come to the side of right leg..so that they ultimately move to middle...
and the steps should spread a little so that they look good..
Akka's Children :Aunty..Aunty.. ( And me saying in filmy style : Aunty Math kaho naa...;-))
Anna's : Looks like pinni..but not that Too..(giving a wink)

And when we move from my saree. they are quite inquisitive to know why i had been missing from family get together for some time now..especially my uncle famous for his 'Intelligent' question and my 'Round-about' answers...We bait each other and i Tell only what i want to tell..and he tries to pull all from me ..

My bavagaru comes ..and we are happy to see each other after some time and he compares me with the 'school' bhavani with glasses ,battifying telugu poems..

..and we smile at each other..

People

you see him in the crowd ..and know him from some where ..his eyes are friendly and know that u met him from some where ..

He waits till you complete your call and when he says your complete name it surprises you more..then you remember that he was from your old company..the place which almost made you to be what you are..

and you cannot help thinking of all the people which you were associated in that period..
the place where people approached you because they thought you had a bubbly laugh ..your friendly ness which made you famous ..
...all the things that people say when they are in love with you..
.......you have the best smile ..
........you are the most honest person i have met....
.........you have wonderful way of putting things.....
..........you look life in the best way....
.............and being with you is the Best!!!!!

Time moves by ...some things people do irritate you so much that there is no forgiving..and you maintain your distance..

some people just stick ed to you
..some said you were most tricky of all they met..
They came back but never took back their words..
some just stuck on to you even though you said they disgust ..
They thought it is the only way to be with you ..take all your moodiness, your anger,your attitude and all ..and it makes you wonder WHY?

Another day

With every day they say we are more rich in life..
my question is how ?

Rhythm Divine

.After all the wrong tunes of the past you wanted a rhythmic song now..
a song which you can hum for some time..a song which does not become a old favourite..and which will have its place at all times..

you take a step and look around..

I want to ask you ..is this a duet or a monologue..?
I would like you to chirp in..but your aloof eyes frighten me..
Maybe its best that we move with the wind ..and take the scent of the present..
May be ..after all we should have a sonnet..
Some thing that rhymes and make people chime ..
Something that is divine ..
..a rhythm that is divine..
Dear , do you also want the same..??

Your Sweet hum.

Wishful thinking

Dearest ,

When you sent me your pic on the bike ..little did you imagine the stories i would build around it.
When i was in college a friend of mine had a friend who was a boy..and he had a bike..A splendor which took them daily and some times on week ends to different locations...

Now dear I know we are not so young to bikee around like coleggites but sweety there are so many places we can go around ..like the little trekking path i found .. ..temple road where we could sit on the pavement..The green valley road ....Or..the the curve which i see daily from my cab ..or the beautiful shimoga hills where there seems to be only color 'Green..

Life is running out darling, make it fast.

Always missing you.
Yours.

A long story..

Most of the thoughts of the mind surface up when you are just falling into a sleep..a small nap of the afternoon..or the serious sleep of the night..these are the times when all the issues which have been long ago hidden surface up..

these could be the people whom you have met long ago..a school friends comment about you..a little joke ..or the time when you fell from the cycle at a turn..u knew you would fall at that point some time and were always careful riding there until one reckless moment just gives it ..
or..or some little crush you had for some one ..his face and smile..Ammas opinion about you ..smile of a little cousin who comes up to you..or the always famous stories of 'Little meetings your people arranged for you in the hunt of the 'right' person....

Now these are going to be series of posts which you need to check out ..from time to time..

Young and fresh:

you don't understand the impact of what was in store for you..
actually you did not give it much of a thought..except that 'Oh people do get married ..but the fact that marriage is about bonding with a person for the whole life..never occurs to you..

Mom and dad feel as if the whole world is coming upon them as even they are new to it..The idea about some one coming to meet their little girl and deciding upon their future keeps them in a frenzy of 'Responsible ' parents ....making them to look a bit older than the normal self....

You wear a Saree which is quite a feat as u come under the category of running about the place with a salwar often ..the pleats are placed at the right place quite painfully after a trial of two three times..:)..and mother as usual thinks you are the best ..
You adjust your glasses..and coming out of the room is quite a feat..you don't know what the front room where you normally 'lazy' out in front of the TV has in store for you..you are so nervous that it is difficult to smile..
Thinking of those days..Gosh days when you were so young..
..and the most embarrassing of all is when people actually force us to talk in private..now coming to it..what can people who are absolutely stranger s except for a few hours can have to talk ..and how will they decide on what is good and what is best for them in a ashort while and coming to it the person whom you meet naturally would keep the best front even though he may be a moody idiot otherwise....



I would relate my first 'shooting' as most of them would like to call in detail now...:-

It was the first proposal and don't remember how it came about exactly..the guy was from Australia and had permanent PR over there ..he was some thing into networking....and was a 6 years older to me..

Both my aunts my mom's sisters were called to this event on a emergency basis..

He came with his father ,mother and sat on deewan..My aunt was later telling that he was keenly observing my mother just to guess if i would be as smart as her..:)..
And when i came into the hall he was rubbing his legs ..nervous i guess..
And after the farce of asking my name..Biggest joke of all in such events..his father was telling something for which my father was over enthusiastically nodding...after a few Mts if grazing every where except the person concerned..
.i suddenly asked if we could talk...Which caught every body unaware..and my father raised his eyebrows..at my sudden request..

my people were afraid i would blurt some thing unusual..and abrupt..

:-) ..I wanted to know if i was he had plans of settling down there or her..a question which now i think is something which only destiny can decide..

People : Part-2
The saddest part of the whole thing is when people call you to 'convince' on the person..
..they have not met him..no idea about what i actually want to see in the partner..
and they give me long speech on the 'why i should go for him'...

My little gyan for such people .." Such things happen only when both the people think they
can go for it ..and it is convincing for them that they can bare each other'..Atleast in this time ..where people have seen the world..without mutual respect and attaraction ..things cannot go further..'


And this is the process which was followed for selecting the right person..



But there have been people who have met their 'Soul mates' in the similar fashion...

you wonder what the guy is actually thinking about you..
your glasses which you know were pretty thick covering your eyes..and your stiffness around the place walking in the saree.. my awkwardness..
...
My experiences in all this search for the right person has made put me in many kind of funny and strange situations ..which i Will put down some day..and taught me and the people around me to look at people and the way they talk more carefully..

hmmmmm.....and the whole discussion that goes when the episode is finished...
and looking into the pooja room you ask God is he the right person..
..and you know the answer in a few days...
'all the wrong ones before the right ones'...and another experience adds by...

Southie...

You see her and you know she is from south....


Its the simplicity which tells everything...and one thing no southie misses is a bindi or bottu....



A saree some times ..and almost always a chuddaar...



An expression which is sincere..and looong

To be or not to be........

The messenger list shows him ..you never know whether to say hi or not..its always the question that looks up at you..to be or not to be..

To be..it was always the thing you wanted..always..deep down you never wanted it to end like that ..but it had right on you r face..slapping you across....you never could absorb it but it had happened ..there is no denying..it has...

To not to be..you promised yourself you will never turn back..you had promised your dear ones the same too..why are promises so hard to keep?they are really....it is just easy to break just by saying hello..the excitement always in seeing the Id ..why did it not die you ask yourself ..
after all ..and again ..

To be or not to be is a question?

We are different...

This was new thing to us..The loneliness and calm wrapping around us..
Actually we are very different people ..i the simple and straight..and u always searching for the hottest in the crowd..i know what you are looking for..and help you in many ways in finding your 'type' as you like to call..

you show your place which for a bachelor is quite neat..cant help admire the place..
And when we finally settle down before the system and explore..suddenly you relax and half sleep playing some Punjabi song..telling me the meaning of the lyric..

We laugh about all the odd things ..and the passing time..the weird world and their expressions..We forget we are very different..And we both doze off into a sleep slumber ..you into your world and me into mine..

Its so different to make tea in a bachelor's room..there are just two cups ..3 spoons ..2 plates..one extra for a visitor....
U come from behind and say its quite good ..even though i know its kind of watery ..
you smile and i cant help smile back..We know each other too well to talk...

Change

You have seen it while being built..the crane slowly carrying the load from one point to another..replying and listening to the repeated queries from the customer... you watch the crane and some one tells ..an MNC's is building a new block..actually four blocks..

Years roll by ..you change jobs ..learn new things..join some company ..change..change..change..


After all the running one fine day you find yourself in the cafeteria trying to capture from your mobile the new company's reflection in the glass panes of the old company...
:)

Ohh..My card

You remember the last time you went for a shopping spree and vowed you will not spend so much on something ssoo trivial..It was exactly six months back..the sign you gave when you saw the debits from your accounts ...they gave a couple of sleepless nights for sure...

As you walk through the bazaar and resolutely promise yourself ...not to get tempted to the frilly skirt or the designer shirt .. walk into a shop which you heard has stuff might cheap.. looking through everything you cant decide on anything..except for the skirt in the window..you slowly go there and look at the tag ..ohh..just for this time you say ..and swoooosh the promise is broken ..and you go berserk ..running from one shop to another ..

oh just for the marriage of a cousin who might not have planned wardrobe for himself as yet..
Oh just for this sake ..this model might not be there again..
oh this color ..it just suits me right..
oh..this cut its beautiful..
Oh this night gown comes down so well..
Oh..This shirt has the right fit..

......

....
Oh my debit card..it might break soon with all the swipes...

That one minute..

You have waited for it with your fingers crossed and breathing tight..At last of all odds you see the papers in your hand..The story has passed the climax and you take a deep breath.. the many fears which have been haunting you for some time can be pushed back ..u turn back and give them a push..wondering is it the last you will see of them..Praying a strong vote of thanks to the DUE person..after all its his Game..:)

the time is coming near for it after all..all the plans and the stars surfacing slowly ..
and suddenly There is the call from the number you least expect..you wonder why are they calling you..and you suck the breath for a second and all the thoughts come rushing out..all the improbabilities, unexpected bumps,new complexities ..everything and you cannot but curse yourself for being too elated..And if anyone can understand they will know the breathlessness..
U take the call and find its nothing but..
friendly gesture and you smile at it... the stage looks Perfect..

Darling i know i am eating you..Ha ha..

Blindness

You knew it all the way ..the thing that is so obvious ..right in front of the eyes..it was there before you... moving about..ignoring you..

You ignore it ..trying to see only what you want t see.. trying to smile ....taking only what you want to take..

your best friends and people tell to ignore it....and you promise loudly that this is the last straw and you are done with it..actually you are..you are done with it almost ..you want to look back with closed eyes ..ignore everything ..move awayy..give your best smile tell everyone we deserve better ..

you meet some old pals ..Look best ..talk more than necessary ..allow some one to flirt.. ..give an gay laugh ..with a wink in the eye ..go home and
When you sleep at night and stop acting blind ..you know its just staring at you..and you close your eyes.

Bland

There are times when the days just roll .Not that you want them like that ,its just that you cant do much to change them.Its like drinking some thing which is tasteless ..,insipid.
You just sign over and try to count the most exciting times just to give a :) and all the flashes just pop over..ha ha..the good times ...what to say..the thrill of the moment , the carefree laughter ... ahh the fun..

College fete and festivals were a big thing for us in 6 and 7 sem..mostly because we were bored of seeeing the same old people from college and want to have a taste of some thing exciting..
So there we were three girls in the 'Shruti' fest ..exploring the campus..
and here was a change from every other festival..being a more 'girly' kind of gang we did not dare do much dancing at any of the other places just to be careful from the falling guys ..too dangerous ..but here was a rope which separated both the parties..

Once the music started .. we joined the female crowd and i call it to this day.."The Day".Gosh how we danced not only us but the whole female population ..it was really awesome ..and after some time the guys from other side just stopped their dance ..may be because the energy from other side was just too much..it was great dancing in the open air to the fullest..Actually 'Jee bhar ke'

Hmm...So that's it ..i call it the most exciting thing to this day..there are many more but this is the 'Numero Uno'
I Know darling its not funny but as you see 'Mahatmas' when they write definitely cant plan what comes out from their fingers..HA HA