Hmm.

Today i kiskofied from work with RS for just procrastinating in the first place and secondly to quench his greed about whatwasidoingnowinlife.

Well it worked out with me being put all kind of questions about what was i looking for in a guy ..why did it not happen still..giving me incredible looks when i said that i got "rejected"...i tried to mislead him of course ..trying to guide me that i HAVE to come down and marry some one as marrying late was of course not acceptable at allllllllllllllllllllll...


When i asked him how his wife was doing ..he has to admit that it was a bit early for her to carry a child ..and that she was getting distressed by evening. Well mister i just tried to avoid that in my life.

God how do i tell this people that its just not my style of marrying just about any one who comes my way..

.............or may be i will .

To the One who took my interview ..

To the One who took my interview ..

u stare at me..and turn my side..
u keep looking and wonder if you have seen me some where ...

Yes yes yes ..i am the same person...
and i dont know how to break the ice with you..
as you just stare without a smile ..

May be i should just stare back also..
as there is not much to say also..

do you stare just because i am the new facce ..
or ..because i am here because of your approval..

P.S : this is not a poem.

Today

To day i came at 2.00 clock afternoon with my ears plugged ...and after getting no mail or any kind of communication.. i am leaving at 6.00 again with my ears plugged .

25 Things about me.

For many days i have wanted to write about this thing 'about me' but i am not sure i can make them 50.

1. I am a female working as an analyst in one of the MNC's in Hyderabad.
2. I have an experience of 2.4 in SAP-ABAP and right from the first year of my work as an programmer , i wanted to shift to functional areas but never made any concrete plans of them .
3. I did not have any training from any company as a fresher , which made my way into the present position very very tough , i still believe that it is only destiny which has pulled me into this stream , i had no plans what so ever to come here.
4. I am actually a mechanical Production graduate from DCET and have been trained in areas of PRO-E and Auto cad , i also worked on GIS for some time before finding my way into this field.
5. I still feel i have taken a wrong decision in not fighting over with my dad , when i got acceptance letter from SI university but did not really have the fire to pursue it like all my friends. It has left me with nothing but a graduate degree and no specialization.If i had on that day pursued it , may be i would have been working as a design engineer or may be like the fashion of the day , i would also have done research and talked a lot about it.God the decisions we take some time.
6. My job scenario till now has always been changing with me always moving either from project to project or the company itself.
7. My last change of job was in July after a tensed up period and struggle.One thing is o have worked only in reputed company's and luckily in Hyderabad only.
8. I was in Calcutta for a short stint , but again as destiny called me back here for good. My short stay there tought me 'howcanlifebeoutsidelivingwithstrangers'.both my room mates there were from mumbai.It left with me both some good and very bad experiences .
9. My professional life had always with it a stint of uncertainty , not now but quite a lot in beginning as i was working then as a contractor.
10. I have met many good friends , from different companies , in this process of change , from one place to another .
11. Before coming to the IT industry i have also worked for some in a domestic call center , making my life a big hell, and going tot he point of depression , i never enjoyed the job , had a fear of talking to strangers on phone, though the product was good , the monotonous talking made me mad at the end of day.
12. The best thing about that job was the exposure to all kind of people , and the general compliments i used to get about my voice from customers and also from peers.
13. I cannot boast that my college life was great , since i was the only girl in a class of 23 , and felt bouts of loneliness sometimes .I generally mingled with Mech girls . Passed with a percentage of 70.4% ( skidded into distinction by 0.4% )
14. there is a story behind this also, when i got all my sem mark cards , there was a valuation mistake and the percentage was 69 % , but my careful calculations showed 70.4 % , when i checked all the individual cards seperatley and compared them to consolidated , i could see that there was typo error in one of them . ( ha ha ..no one could stop me that day )
15. My only friend now from college in now inUS , doing a job , she went quite late , and recently joined in a job.One more is in UK with a huband and job in SAP itself, and another one is kind of stuck up in 'notsohappylooking' marriage.She was the brightest of us all with a real zeal and passion in setting goals.all the guys are either now on the verge of marrying or are married , with i having no knowledge of the Muslim friends, who never bothered to keep in touch.
16. My class in DCET was so stupid that they did not even take my email id while leaving college .
17. I was actually non existent for them , except for in labs when they needed some help. i still hate them all from bottom of heart.
18. My favourite lecturer was mechanical design Rajini mam , who was the only talkative person in the not so friendly environment.
19. I see some of my acquaintances in orkut , but have not added them yet to my list.
20. The interesting part of my life started only after college.
21. My close pals have always been M and S , who keep my life pepped up with their presence around me.I cant imagine how would life be without them.
22. In my family i am more attached to mom , though dad and i have a lot more in common. Mom and i have a deep understanding between us and i rely on her for many things, including some major and minor decisions .She like me has a sensitive nature and that binds us together , but she does not have many of my gemini charecteristics which makes us sometime differ in the reaction for the same thing, but in overall she has been great asset to me and she is one person i think a late marriage is worth for. Mom i have thourughly taken comfort in your company , i need not say that but all the same , this is about me.
23. My dad and i have a nasty temper , restlessness in common.we just cannot stop from talking some times , and jump to conclusions quite quickly . as a child i remember dad having a very bad temper which cooled down only with age..Mom / bro tell it runs in the 'that side' of the family and i am a direct recepient of it. Maybe i am..One thing in common in both of us is the easiness with which we can get dishearten when some thing does not go as planned , but definitely i can boast of a much more cheerful nature and clear thinking than him. he is learning ..:P
24. the one thing i should thank both of them is the religiousness which has been passed down to me from them. ...
25. My prayers have grown in intensity and depth with age ...and this is one thing i am happy about me.

Week End .

The week end has been spent in

1. Cooking,
2. taking care that the house doesnt turn upside down.
3. Cleaning and more cleaning.
4. One lunch party
5. no sleep at all
6.only one music class ..and singing horribly in it.
7.Preparing to-do list for home.
( it had total 22 points to be checked ..right from bathromm tiles to almarah decolum )..sure it wil take 2 months to get them done..)
8.Pleasure of seeing the house in new furniture. really amazing what new pieces can do to the look of house..
9. Enjoying the after effect of a well planned idea.
10. Getting surprised at some one 's missed call..(it turned out to be nothing after all..)
the 'after allll' is more pronounced than lizzys in P & P.
11.Watching P and P again now fo course from a different scene.


I guess thats it.

mera kaam

My work as for all people demands most of my day here ..Little choice actually..

Its a kind of work which when it comes leaves you grasping for air........

I worked from 11 to 11 literally hardly finding time to get up from cubicle..and now i dont know what todo in this place..

then i wanted to write something about ..actually a lot about what was happening ..especially one about my Pl and his dammned attitude ..and did not find time..now when there is plenty of time ..i dont know what to put down..there is a lot but i cannot point on something.

But i am reading a loooot.

Blogging my way

Reading so many blogs of shoefiend..it is like i am in the tube train and watching the english people maintaining a stoic silence over the journey.I can actually feel it sitting in my cubilce at work..They are damn good writers especially shoefiend , but the flavour is definitely tamil and it 's stong.


.....and another strong reason to find the huge community of tamilian ladies to blog so much ..

one reason obviously of course the need to express themselves ..
..and secondly they being good readers ..from the fact that chennai hosts a large number of libraries and lending centers ..

actually in my one month stay in chennai last year , M took me to her book lending center ..

Last diwali night

Last Diwali night was spent on the road of Gandhinagar bursting a big box of flower pots, pencils,rockets, sixty shots, 1000 wala , 500 wala,cracklers, laxmi bombs, hydrogen bombs, A new variety of bomb which throws colored papers of green , red , yellow instead of sound, shouted, yelled at midnight on roads,..had good fun.

last diwali ..this diwali

how is my diwali different from the last years..
Hard to tell this..

positive things :
1 . different company.
2. Can say better work.
3. More stable and strong both mentally and physically.
4. Regular "Good " things.
5. positive outlook of life.
6. Strong belief in the adage " We get richer as we grow older"
7. B has come out of college
8. Good results.
9.Life more interesting.
10. Reconfirmation of the fact that what ever happens for good., Cheers.



Negative things :
1. No change in situations
2. Bad fight to struggle and survive.
3. Same old status.( badi..lambi raat hai.. kind of )

Ethnicity

Jaane kya baat hai..
jaane kya baat hai..
neend nahi aati ..badi lambi raat hai..

This is for the longeest period of life , when you feel 'the D-day ' for you is never going to come at all..
Actually even though it has not been that looong , it is loong..

Thank you blogger for giving me this platform , where you can express yourself to the core and be happy for not bothering any one.

today i wore a saree to work being part of 'trying to look ethnic'..
I wondered what actually the guy who sits diagonally really think about me..because i did not find any expression in him to suggest that there is any change in the person , whom he actually sees if he just turns his head a little , ..
I think the ethnicity of my dress did not actually turn on ..though actually it does not matter..
Some times i badly miss having a real boy friend in life..some one who can treat you special when the occasion arises ..some one who can be one of the reasons for a smile some times when the 'lambi raat' never seems to come to na end..

Rambling thoughts

Once again i am back to the 'waiting for mail from onsite ' phase and again there i am with little to do and a lot to muse about.

The thoughts which have been occupied me now have been gruelling us for some time now and i guess i f i don't put them down at some point now will never be able to do it right.The constant argument between me , (actually my group ) of unmarried girls , who chose to do it by taking some time ....and all the 'good wishers ' around us who want to end up some where 'married ' has never failed to pull us down and set us thinking about ..hey where are we( it implies to all my group of females ' not yet committed ' .. all headed to'?..hummish hummish humm..

Part one : This part of the story surfaces when we are all still fresh from college ... and the the minds of the family and self are not yet polluted with th e 'longeest ' period of searching in life for the right person?
Well i guess i ma deviating here and want to confine this to the comparison of life of the unmarried and married one's.

All my college Friends excepting a few are now married with the prospect of having a child in the near future .I try to find happiness in their countenance , but fail to do , mainly because it could be that they are just projecting the sad part of their marriages ..and secondly may be i failed to find some happiness in their life itself.
they are in fact very envious over our budding careers ..our freedom to take a decision without the 'permission' of the hubby ..
the sheer happiness of being at home , spending considerable time with family meaning amma, nanna , bro, etc.,)..the joy of spending your own money without the interference from any one and thinking too much about saving , loans etc.,


They fail sometimes to value the importance of having a partner at their side ..
It has come so easily to them that they don't know their life without hubby at side.
they want to spend considerable time with them selves ..which is now impossible ..
and they start envying all the uncommitted people ..
I know its a kind of reiteration of the above point but all the same ..

They have definitely missed this part of life where you can come form work and tell mom about al the interesting happenings ..your promotions ..the joy in family when you have done it good ..

..one more thing is they have not seen definitely not seen many guys around like us at work ..outside..

..to be contd.

Adi Sankaracharya

To think that adi sankaracharya lived only 32-years before he became one with the ONE is always amazing..i have read his bio graphy many a times ..but still when i come across the line that he has done everything in 32 -years always lives me in awe.

It is just the sicearity of a soul which wanted to see the truth , saw it , spread it ..and still we are following the same advaitic way of religion which again amazes me ..

Have a look at the way he sings from the bottom of his soul :

Na thatho, na matha,
na bandur na datha,
Na puthro, na puthri , na bruthyo ,
na bartha,Na jayaa na Vidhya,
na Vruthir mamaiva,Gathisthwam, Gathisthwam Thwam ekaa Bhavani.

Neither the mother nor the father,Neither the relation nor the friend,Neither the son nor the daughter,Neither the servant nor the husband,Neither the wife nor the knowledge,And neither my sole occupation,Are my refuges that I can depend, Oh, Bhavani,

Courtesy : http://www.celextel.org/adisankara/bhavaniashtakam.html

Jwalath kodi balarka bhasarunangim,
Sulavanya srungara lokabhiramam,
Mahapadma kinjalka madhye virajat,
Trikone nishannam bhaje sri Bhavanim. 2

I sing about that Bhavani,
Who sits in the triangle,
Which shines in the stamen of the great lotus,
Who has the luster of crores of rising suns,



Ithi sri Bhavani swaroopam thavedam,
Prapanchat param chahi sookshma prasannam,
Sphuratvambha dimbhasya mey hrth saroje,
Sada Vang mayam sarva thejo mayam cha. 10


This form of yours, Oh Bhavani,
Which is much above the universe,
In its micro form,May please shine in the lotus heart mine,
And bless me in your lustrous form,S
o that I rule over the wealth of words.
Who is immensely pretty,
And who attracts the entire world by her charm.


For more see here : http://www.celextel.org/adisankara/bhavanibhujangam.html