Its nice to be pampered once in a while...the line which invariably comes to my mind when ever I go to a parlour. So for the first time I go to Nails studio in US and get the same feeling again. But I miss the Indian ones where they talk and pamper us in a different way. They charged me 28$ ..its not about the money but I miss the Indian parlours and all the 'akka' gang. Last time I went, one of parlour girl said its not 'really worth' to get something done. A subtle hint at the growing education and sophistication in India. Here this Mexican lady did not smile much at me and I felt she ended abruptly the whole thing. Anyways the feet and hand look a bit polished and neat...and its going to be eons before I go there again.

Sometimes its nice to be left alone at home. Just by yourself and today the opportunity came twice in one day. I did not switch on the TV nor did I cook. It was just me and myself. It is Nice.

In a major development when we are watching a movie Akhil is watching along with us with the same intensity. Absorbing everything he sees with his two sharp eyes. The other day I was trying a new pant and wanted to see it in mirror. Before I realize this guy who was watching what I was doing pulls a chair stands on top of it and pats himself near the bottom and chest. ( catching head with rolling eyes ). 

And so they said they wanted to get together because school happened 15 years ago and  because we are all so wiser now. And because the most enthusiastic people for the reunion are the ones who are more settled and the quieter ones are the SAHM's or something similar. And today I get to know that there is a dress code. Maroon and white. I hated that color combo for the last 30 years. Searching for excuses to bunk the reunion.

I almost thought this blog was deleted automatically for not logging in.But no it survived.

After 2 years or more space there are additions in the family. One super energetic 21 months old boy. And no time. Absolutely.Because I am a SAHM.Period.Life changed. Once lazy afternoons are now precious 'me' time when the kid sleeps. And sometimes there is no 'me' time because the kid decided not to sleep that day.Fullstop. As simple as that.No thinking from the box, outof the box or inside the box. Life comes down to three simple things. Feed the kid, Feed the husband and feed thyself and all the uproar surrounding it. Plans of meals and of the future meals.Boredom of eating the same meals and different meals. Cleaning and more cooking.Searching for new recipes.I think i visited the mall 3 times in last 2 years. 2 times we came out in a hurry.And once there was time to eat something.That actually summarises life.

..and if i had bought everything i liked from stores my wardrobe would have filled the bedroom.I saw this beautiful coat in macy's for sale and tied myself from not buying it on impulse and now as i see highheel confidential the coat flashes before my eyes..sigh!!

so the new year begun as expected a bit dull and wry and laughing at my decisions which seem to have gone for a toss.Well..Life.Wrong timings, big mistakes..they seem to go about in a cycle.God knows how i pass my time ..i mean my waking time.
Someone should ban these horoscope predictions from the Internet which seem to pull me down even further down and down.Damn them.

apart from reading a book, playing lumosity games and more games on my mobile I don't seem to do much either.

..and then it seems we are not supposed to ask questions but just listen to the sermon of life..because it seems we are ..well..you are just not supposed to ask WHY.

..so 2012 ending  had a much sadder sorrier surprise for all of us much like the whole year..and that is the BIG C decided to make a way into our lives anyway.Quite a big blow for all the believers who thought C is heredity..It comes to people who are always in some trouble because their family members don't care for them too well..It comes to those who work too hard for their family..and the many more assumptions people had about it...and so It seems again we need to just listen to the verdict and not think about the big WHY.

..and it seems humans are born to be suffered for reasons not to be asked and some are meant to enjoy of course.. reaping their benefits right at time but then why are the good ones not spared in this war ..Well you know ..you are not supposed to ask WHY.
 

..and then I sometimes think would we have gone for such long lengths if there were absolutely no questions from anyone...If life was more than just coming back from work and watching TV ..If it has not been so many friends with kids around you..If life has been more ( meaning what ? ) ..not exactly sure.And which got me thinking what kind of life would have made me happy. Life would have been a complete thing

1) If I was not a developer but a Product Manager.
2)If I had a musical show every month.
3) If my art show was just around the corner.
4) If there was a big bash for the oncoming product launch.
5) If there was some thing always around like a birthday party of a friend , a family function or just a party.But would the picture be complete without the costly habit of drinking?


Yes then I would not have gone so much length as I am going now.Probably.

..and with every ending of a project my spirits dip and take some time to come back.Yes dear friend Life has to go on and the sad part this time is ..I am not sure I will be able to work for the rest of the time here.Yes things have to get difficult . Impossible every onset of winter I realize that Life is no better than last year.There are more responsibilities but none less ..and the other things are the same.The more you earn the more there is to spend.The respite is never near. So I come to another winter and another phase of being jobless...and yes I am sad.

But then 'One day at a time'.