........there is something sweet , adorable and a small feeling of being awed when a little girl comes and tells 'I love you ' and wishes that you are her sister.

I love you too dear!!

I just didn't know how to handle her ..
This is my feeling when i saw how cleverly SIL is handling MIL .She got the technique of it and throws back the tantrums and wishes of her mother back into her own way and also gives a piece of advice to her in the process and thats what MIL needs.Some one who can dominate her in the way she tries to put her way through things about other people .And SIL is superb that way .Hats off .

భవాని కవితలు

భయం వేస్తోంది భయం వేస్తోంది నాకు,
ఉద్యోగం గురించి భయం,
బైట ఎండల గురించి భయం,
ఎటు చూసిన భయం,

ఎవ్వరికి చెప్పు కోలేము,
వినేవారికి నా మాటలు పెద్ద బోర్,
చెప్పకుండా నేను ఆగలేను,
చెప్తే నేమో ఒక భయం,
చెప్పకపోతే నాకు భయం.

I sit here in the office break out area and look into the scorching sun outside ..the coolness of the inside is just a reminder of the hotness outside ..

..ఇస్తి నమ్మ వాయనం...

It has been one year for our engagement day today and today being an auspicious day mom decided to call it a day for finishing at least half of the 'నోములు అండ్ వ్రాతలు' part .So there we were Hd and me with a big bag of pears , the 11th fruit type adding to the 10 types of fruits bought by amma and nanna. If there are any two people in my life who can do selflessly anything for me they are my parents .I dont think there will be any other set of people who will do it for me . So we were greeted into the home to the sweet smell of different fruits in different variety of baskets , all of them applied with turmeric and kumkum and everything set for pooja .Amma i dont have words to say you thanks , you have a heart of gold . I felt like an idiot being there doing nothing just coming , getting ready and sitting for pooja. I assure it wont happen next time and i will take part in the hard work before the pooja.
So it goes like this .
After completing the Vinaya pooja and Pooja ot amma varu , we offer the fruits to the gods first , two fruits of each variety .
Then we ask each person ( ముత్తైదువు ) to sit in తూర్పు దిశ and give them the fruits of each variety of count 16 . And before we offer the dialogues which goes between the two are like this.
'ఇచ్చుకొంటి నమ్మ వాయనం ' - 'పుచ్చికొంటి నమ్మ వాయనం '
'ఇచ్చుకొంటి నమ్మ వాయనం ' - 'పుచ్చికొంటి నమ్మ వాయనం '
'ఇచ్చుకొంటి నమ్మ వాయనం ' - 'పుచ్చికొంటి నమ్మ వాయనం '

then i ask
'నా వాయనం పుచ్చు కున్న వనిత ఎవరమ్మా ' to which the receiving lady replies 'నేనే మంగలగురి నమ్మ'
for which i say 'కోరికొంటి నమ్మ వరం' and the receiving lady says 'ఇస్తి నమ్మ వరం' .
..and this pattern repeats for 11 times for each variety of fruit taken. I dis this today for
apples , pear, grapes, gummadi kaya, nariyal,nimmapandu,danimma,sweet tarbuja, banana, dosa pandu,battayi ...
and i am left with 6 more to complete in this year.Hats off to amma.

..mom and me went for a pedicure today and were searching for not so hi-fi parlour near our place ..her feet are in very bad shape and mine are in a painful stage ..from a few months i am unable to wear heels and have acute pain in my knees and legs ..i always wish there is some one to press my feet or massage my feet and in the process have also bought some massaging oil ..so both of went for this very-near-to-home parlour and sat for 40 mts before the lady did some thing us..shelled some money and came back with 'Oh! we should have gone to the costly one only ..at least half of the money would have their worth' and so on.....

When i go to richie rich the girls do the same work so sincerely that i some times sleep in the chair..

they first keep them in the 'right' temperature hot water ..50% stress gone

then they massage with semi-hot oil-25% stress gone ..

then they get rid of the sunburnt dirt and tan..and then do a clean the nails and the around area and apply the moisturizer and give another deep massage ..and there i am as limp as a stuffed up animal and will be lead anywhere and pay anything!!..half forgetting about the knee and leg pains ..the calcium absorption problem..everything and go home like a bird..

god i am dying to go there !!

...so i was watching the movie Guru and the wonderful romance of Madhavan and Vidya balan and wow! its a simple message of how much eyes can speak when two people are in love. ..and they are such good actors to be sure ..both of them involved till the edge of their personalities into the characters ..and ummmmm..madhavan i still love you !! you know where it started the day we saw in your bike in the movie 'Sakhi' long back you remember that blue jeans shirt ..the shaded glasses , the hair flipping on your face and that dimply smile on your face ..yeah yeah i am still in love ..!!..(battering eyelashes and dreamy eyes )

The most embrassing thing to a girl can be when a 'latak-jhatak ladki' from work place comes and asks if you are pregnant..and you realize that things are really out of hand and going beyond control .

I am trying to figure out what are the different things that can be done to make life interesting ..and i so wish that this blog has been more viewable to public , i hate hiding it in the first place ..But there are not many funny things to write other wise i would have done it in the first place ..
Most of the blogs I observe have funny things to talk about , but mine is kind of introspection of the things that are happening around me ..and though i would actually like people to look in and read them ..it got too personal after some time . I really don't have many people commenting on this and it is making me kind of lonely to write in here.Though of course i will not stop writing i wish there were more people to read my thoughts and comment on them .

SIL has come to India and is in her in laws place .MIL went to see her and she was some what rather uncommentative after her trip there giving answers in little chips ' she is fine' 'OK'..so on.
The real problem that MIL and family have with me is they grudge the independence that i have and execute when I want to go some where and there is some thing very care free about the way i talk .They belong to the old school of thought and talk the crap like 'Women should change them selves if Husbands are wayward and so on ' ..why shld women change when the fault is on the other court ..Well old argument but still can make me think some times . ..and after the trip she was kind of talking all hushed up to FIL about the trip and the comments from the other side. There is still no sign of her coming home but we will be seeing her in her home for pooja .

SIL it seems is going to join her company tomorrow and MIL is worried .Because it seems it is not an auspicious day .One girl is just throwing her job in front of her and it doesn't matter a bit and because her daughter is joining a company on an inauspicious day she is sooo worried .Prejudiced set of people.

The Tryst with truth

We keep looking into light ,

In search of some thing ,

Forgetting that we are standing in darkness.

( To add some color to my blog )

Hey you lucky readers ..only you can view this blog ..because as i read some where anonymity on the net is really not possible and because i need to write all this stuff some where ..so here i am..

Me and Hd are currently on cold war and am not sure when the temp will be normal....and its boring to go into details ....Don't know why there are a very few things which bring cheer to me these days ..when ever i am in my home i am so bogged with work and office that I cant spend any happy time with mom and considering dad's health she is more busy than before and the house has also become very hot in summer ...but still it is some relief always to be at home ....



Some one said life after marriage will never be the same ..they were so right ..life after marriage is really boring ..and to tell correctly the space that was filled with anticipation before marriage in the hope of beautiful dreams and simple happy things suddenly becomes so full of burden ..and this is where the process of getting old starts ....

there was some blog where i read a lady writing that she could not believe that she got old until she saw her snaps of the youth and found that people get old in the eyes ..the twinkle of the youth is in the eyes when every thing is just bladdey anticipation..so the anticipation of happiness and the hope of 'happily ever after' vanishes later and what you find is breathless spaces and old tired eyes. ..i know i know..i am depressed ..

This time will also pass and it will take with it another twinkle from the eye ..another twinkle of youth ..so i am supposed to pray to god to come out of the situation ..but when i actually go and try to do it ..i get this weird feeling that things might go worse but not better..



..the main fear is the fear of loosing job which was my only identity till know ..all the lateral hires in the company are getting targeted and fired one by one..and more that that i know this is my last month in deloitte since i am going to leave hyd next month .. and plan to take an LOP which is actually suicidal in the current times . ..



Destinies and people are so different for different people though we are in the same situation and companies ..S and I joined the company almost at the same time ..she is completing now 2 years , is in US of A with her husband , maintained the best relations with every one in the company , had a clear goal of what to do ..so on.



.. and I will complete in another few months if at all the company does not fire me ..and live in a bladdey nagging fear ...and more that that i know i might not get another in the next couple of months ..another depressing thought ...I went wrong in so many places in life..



..I know ..i know i am not supposed to compare people and situations of life ..but cant help it .

True i guess!

So finally the fear has come true and it is confirmed that SIL and family are coming to india .The scenario will change so much now ...and i dont think i will survive long here now.It is as if it has come to drive me from here . May be these are just fears and i am afraid of any change coming . ...
Waah re waah zindagi !
Tu ne kounsi geet gayi!

Na sur hain naa taal hain ..
lagta besuri hain!!

Magar haal aisa hain,
ki geet gana hi hain..
....Few lines written at 10 55 on a friday night ..at office..

Well..well.well..every one has a story and so do I. It could be anything and sincearly speaking life is all about forgetting and living .The point I want to make is , may be 2 years down the memory line i might not remember what i was going through today ,so here i am writing about it. Like the most situations of my life i am in a fix .And the answers are still not clear .

When i see the rosy pictures of my friends in orkut with kids and stuff , the heart strings pull in such tight knots that i just want to dump the whole thing i am doing and join Hd , and immeditaly have a kid .And not give a second thought. ...

But there are so many things to think and sort out.After all we/I am so dependent on our salaries to keep things going .It is frightening to leave the job in this recession time and be job less . The answer from any one is , things would be bad for one more year.

So , as a passing thought of the day.. ..life will remain like this . There will be always be some pensive thoughts about work ..
..there will always be comparison about how you do things compared to other ..
..there will be some ghit-phit or other ..
and there are two ways to deal with them ..either you care for all the crap, or you just give a kick to it.And for once let me be wise and give them a hard kick ....and follow my rules to live happily ever after ..
1.Do not compare the life of one person to other ..there is always some one at the top and some one below..So just look down its easier and saves a neck sprain ..and more ever its easier to smile down than crane your neck up and smile.
2.Count the good things in life..and be fair .It has been very good and when you are in doubt just look at the pics of some nice times.
3.Its true things could have been better, but learn from life.
4.Health is some thing which is god given , living the life style i live now , i will end up with aching knees and a bended back by the end of next few years.SO EXERCISE PLEASE!
5.Think less and work more...and finally good luck!!