Hey you lucky readers ..only you can view this blog ..because as i read some where anonymity on the net is really not possible and because i need to write all this stuff some where ..so here i am..

Me and Hd are currently on cold war and am not sure when the temp will be normal....and its boring to go into details ....Don't know why there are a very few things which bring cheer to me these days ..when ever i am in my home i am so bogged with work and office that I cant spend any happy time with mom and considering dad's health she is more busy than before and the house has also become very hot in summer ...but still it is some relief always to be at home ....



Some one said life after marriage will never be the same ..they were so right ..life after marriage is really boring ..and to tell correctly the space that was filled with anticipation before marriage in the hope of beautiful dreams and simple happy things suddenly becomes so full of burden ..and this is where the process of getting old starts ....

there was some blog where i read a lady writing that she could not believe that she got old until she saw her snaps of the youth and found that people get old in the eyes ..the twinkle of the youth is in the eyes when every thing is just bladdey anticipation..so the anticipation of happiness and the hope of 'happily ever after' vanishes later and what you find is breathless spaces and old tired eyes. ..i know i know..i am depressed ..

This time will also pass and it will take with it another twinkle from the eye ..another twinkle of youth ..so i am supposed to pray to god to come out of the situation ..but when i actually go and try to do it ..i get this weird feeling that things might go worse but not better..



..the main fear is the fear of loosing job which was my only identity till know ..all the lateral hires in the company are getting targeted and fired one by one..and more that that i know this is my last month in deloitte since i am going to leave hyd next month .. and plan to take an LOP which is actually suicidal in the current times . ..



Destinies and people are so different for different people though we are in the same situation and companies ..S and I joined the company almost at the same time ..she is completing now 2 years , is in US of A with her husband , maintained the best relations with every one in the company , had a clear goal of what to do ..so on.



.. and I will complete in another few months if at all the company does not fire me ..and live in a bladdey nagging fear ...and more that that i know i might not get another in the next couple of months ..another depressing thought ...I went wrong in so many places in life..



..I know ..i know i am not supposed to compare people and situations of life ..but cant help it .