I am getting engaged the next Sunday ..we will be in a hotel or some place and the guy will put a ring on my finger ..it seems so..so finally the gods have bestowed on my fate a guy whom i am to spend the rest of my life with..

Its purely a compromise on my part and has nothing to do with likes , wishes , dislikes my idea of whom to marry ..It has come . I have said yes because i am tired of running this race and want to settle down..There is nothing very impressive in the whole thing..matter of convenience for that guy and me..that's all..i think he has thought abt it in this fashion..this girl is there ..she gets decent income to support her selves..the house and family seems decent..The girl is acting positive..yes i was talking very positively since the night before i have taken an oath to myself ..that is not to meet another guy..So mechanically i have highlighted only the positive points..Yes i am a cheater and am cheating myself and him also..There's seems no go about the whole thing..

my father and relatives have gone to their place today to talk abt 'laanchanmulu'..hearing their discussion i thought i Will go mad..There seems to be high light only on one thing 'the girl gets good income ..the girl gets good income..I know how much hard it has been to survive in this position and how difficult will it be in getting a job again..only i know it!!!

Even any one who has known me in my high times will see me now ..will know the difference..i am so tired i think i can take sleeping pills and sleep un endingly..i only think of how to sleep and forget at the whole issue..but this is where i am wrong ..i am not supposed to act like his ..i am supposed to be positive abt the whole hing..but the guy has nothing int resting to tell me..i am the one who talk more here.and i am tired..i am only marrying because i my parents think i cant get a better match than this in future at the age of 27 ..so i have decided to put break to all the marching people into my home..and have said 'yes'. my father is highly excited abt the whole thing and is in cloud 9 from 2 days.. and as a person ..I am telling i just want to get of this house ..i am sick now ..with hoping that things can get better tomm and nothing happening ..

I always had some strength inside me to get out of an situation and survive it..but this time i have failed completely and badly..

If this is how people get married ..kudos to all the people who got married ..